I was at my town fair which is held every year during spring. I spotted an accessory shop at a corner. Being a lady, I couldn’t resist myself from checking out the stuffs therefore I too joined them. The shop consisted of several decorative items for personal adornments such as brooches, rings, necklace, earrings and bracelets.
“How much is this for?”, a customer asked the owner with a studded black cross pendant in her hand. I was dumbstruck by a thought due to a single glance of the studded pendant.
It is very easy to wear a cross but can you bear it?
The first time I saw the cross was in a convent school which I studied in. It was a huge brown figure consisting of two bars running perpendicular to each other. It was so distinct from all the other materials around. It stood so majestically right in front of the parlor. I felt so proud staring at it. It gave me a cool breeze of peace and rejuvenation. A sense of heaven. Even though I wasn’t acquainted with the Man nailed on the cross. I got all negative thoughts about Him. And at the same time I was keen to know why were the nails pounded through His hands and feet and the thorns pressed into His brow. How painful it might have been? Some said he was faultless, not a trace of sin. But that wasn’t convincing. I still had a major question wobbling in my head ‘why was he crucified?’
Suicide had become the ultimate aim of life. Not because of a relationship with a guy but due to the everyday family fights, condemned among my friends, looked down due to less grades. I was so guilt ridden and at the same time felt like a useless creature. One night, being so fed up with life I drank a cup of animal poison. And was astonished to find myself alive the next morning. Oh! How I wished to die that day? My first suicidal attempt was at the age of thirteen. I just wanted to get rid of this world. Maybe because I was looking for happiness after death, but simultaneously was clueless if life even existed after death.
After 16 years I got to know Chirst, when God placed me once again in a missionary school. I got the answer behind His crucifixion that is to accomplish salvation which God alone can fulfill and he has done it. This is the truth that Jesus shouted from the cross, "It is finished!” (John9:30). He became my redeemer that day itself 2,000 years back hanging on the cross.
The life that we live is a gift and has been paid a high price for it by the Man on the cross. The day I understood this, I gave my entire life to Christ. Now I value my life a lot because I live for Christ. Eventually, the Cross delivered me up from darkness to light, from addiction to freedom, from condemnation to salvation. And now when I recollect the thoughts of my earlier days I just laugh off thinking how timid I was.
The cross has given me the meaning and purpose of my living which makes me want to live so eagerly, always looking up to a new day for God to speak in a unique way. It has brought back that rejuvenation which I felt the first time I saw the cross. This doesn’t mean that I fear dying. The Cross has transformed and equipped me in such a way that I am not afraid of death because in both case; living and death, I am the winner. One happy day I found myself singing this incredible song with an awe filled heart.
At the cross, at the cross,
I surrender my life, I am in awe of you, I am in awe of you;
Where your love ran red; and
my sins washed white;
I owe all to you, I owe all to you, Jesus.
Its not just plain lyrics but a clear description of the cross that one has to bear. The thought of bearing the cross brings a very negative aspect in our hearts. But, one can accomplish it by perseverance with God guiding you in each and every step that you take. Even the snail, by perseverance reached the ark. I did face persecution but not rejection; a promise from our father. Now I have my heart and soul imprinted with these words:
The cross before me, the world behind me, No turning back, no turning back.
How about you ?