An evening, beautiful as ever, it's us who can't see the beauty of the life, the nature, the warmth of the Sun, the gloom of the flowers, the stillness of the trees, the inundation of water in the canal, the thickness of air, in our despair.
So, an evening after the decision, I found it so foul. Unworthy of my breaths. I went to the canal, but obviously to my beloved, for it was howling wild, to take it all away; the stress, the mourns. Funny fact, that I always have someone to ask to join me after I started smoking. I was never alone. But that day, not a single person by my side. To listen to me, let me weep, let me cry, let me hue, and ask me why.
In the contact list of approximately 350, I can't get a single person to talk to, whom I can just dial up and let the electric signals convey my message. No money as well. Yet, enough to get me two smokes. And I was sitting on a concrete 'pain in the ass' boundary of the canal. Enter a dog. Rather many were there, but two of them just came by me sniffing, wanting to lick, show their love. One as life went away in a pat, while the other one, was god. While I was complaining to him, he stopped by. That fellow stood there, accepting the caressing emitted within me. He didn't move, he didn't sit, just stood there. And by the second stroke over his fur, however dirty it didn't occur to my mind, I felt good. A positivity flowed into me, brought tears to my eyes.
When the universe was so upset with me, that a few days back even the blossoming flower I picked died in my hands, even the sun refusing to give me any strength, my body rejecting the work loaded upon it, a dog, god, came by and took it all away. I didn't even feed him an atom of food, I had no money, I had no love, I had nothing, and yet it absorbed it from me, embracing my woes as his, he stood there. Lovely.